Episode #1: Adventures on the dating world

July 21, 2017

I don't remember exactly the moment it happened but, somehow, I became a skeptical when it comes to dating. When I was a teenager, I never really understood the appeal and why my friends would go batshit crazy over their boyfriends sometimes - to me it's always been about connecting with someone on a deeper level.
I have had my fair share of heartbreaks and failed attempts of relationships. And I'm not gonna lie to you: I always thought I had some sort of issue. Maybe I wasn't pretty enough. Maybe I wasn't skinny enough. Maybe I wasn't interesting enough. Maybe I should've been more polite. It has taken me years to let go of this mentality and finally accept that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm awesome just the way I am. And as one of my favorite characters, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, would say:

"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking  your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."

I have lived my life to its fullest so far: college parties, clubs, dates and all that jazz. Don't get me wrong, I loved doing all that in my early twenties but not anymore. I spent a really long time forcing myself on the dating world - Tinder (and plenty of other similar apps) has led me to some insane experiences but I'm 100% done. And let's say that I am doing pretty fine on my own: I have a job, a dog who loves me, I pay my bills and I have awesome friends who are there for me whenever I need them. I don't need a man to be complete. Or happy. Or to achieve success. With that being said, I am out of my comfort zone once again: there's this guy... I didn't see it coming. Like I said, it's not like I'm actively looking for a boyfriend. And it all started in the place I least expected: the gym. YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT. We met about six months ago and to be fairly honest, we barely talked to each other at first.
We share the same alma mater and that's how we started talking a little bit more. I have a degree in International Relations and he's got a degree in Social Sciences. And the thing is: he is a pretty interesting and smart guy and he keeps on fascinating me. Inspiring even. I wish I could get to know him better. But we most definitely have our walls up, for different reasons. I can't bring myself to ask him out, for the first time in my life I'm lacking the courage to do so OH THE SHAME. I have no idea how he feels towards me, anyway.
Like I said: dating and flirting were never my strongest suits. I went through all of the stages of overthinking the situation and right now there are only three little words in the back of my mind: let it be. But if the stars allign and I get lucky enough for him to read this: let's have a coffee sometime, shall we? Hey, it's worth the shot - don't judge!
Anyway, I can't help but wonder...How do y'all feel towards the whole dating experience? What's the best date in your opinion? I never gave it much thought until I went on some truly horrible ones. In the end, all it matters to me is actually getting to know the other person. No walls, no sarcasm - just a real good chat with no inhibitions.

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